By the early nineties, singer-songwriter and former Blake Babies member Juliana Hatfield's solo career was taking off: She was on the cover of Spin and Sassy . Ben Stiller directed the video for her song ''Spin the Bottle'' from the Reality Bites film soundtrack. Then, after canceling a European tour to treat severe depression and failing to produce another ''hit,'' she spent a decade releasing well reviewed albums on indie labels and performing in ever-smaller clubs. A few years ago, she found herself reading the New Yorker on a filthy couch in the tiny dressing room of a punk club and asked, ''Why am I still doing this?'' By turns wryly funny and woundingly sincere, When I Grow Up takes you behind the scenes of rock life as Hatfield recounts her best and worst days, the origins of her songs, the source of her woes, and her quest to find a new purpose in life.