Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark
secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according
to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a
Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of
great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction
and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final
battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark
Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells
into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the
Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town
of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And
when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the
Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact
that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy
doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his
dignity, his power, and his lands...Along the way he
faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a
do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless
hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing
Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two
interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists);
and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to
marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do
what he wants them to.Dirk makes friends with the son of
his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl,
Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that
will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably,
not everything goes to plan...But that's for book
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