'As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and i can't remember the other two...' - Norman Wisdom. You can't help feeling bewildered every time another birthday lunges at you - after all, you still feel like the proverbial spring chicken. And yet there are unmistakeable signs that seniority is creeping in. Don't worry, that's senior, not senile. If you've ever had a senior moment, are afraid of acting your age or are really deranged and confused, this miscellany of wit, jokes and quotations will remind you that age can be a funny old thing.