Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities
and Communities delves into the unique experiences of
individuals in BDSM communities. While misunderstandings
surrounding these communities prevail, BDSM sexuality
cuts across race, gender, nationality, and sexual
orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that
incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training,
and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power
exchange between the engaged parties. Some BDSM "scenes"
include role-playing, spanking, blindfolds, ropes, and
erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is designed as a
guide for BDSM community members who must wade through
the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to
family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive
relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and
developing community; overcoming shame and denial;
exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool;
gaining access to quality, culturally competent
psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a
healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current
medical and social standards that view them as sick or
pathological. The book also serves as an educational
primer for those whose partners, friends, and family
members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges
faced by BDSM communities, the most significant is
living with a stigmatized sexuality shame, prejudice,
discrimination, isolation, depression, and a lack of
adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such as
coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and
partners, and dealing with scenes and relationships that
go wrong are some the common experiences shared by
members of BDSM communities. Sexual Outsiders employs
common sense, good humor, and vivid anecdotes while
incorporating basic ideas about human behavior,
psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and
clinical case studies to illustrate the real lives and
experiences of men and women in BDSM communities. Anyone
wanting to learn more about this unique, and
more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality, will
find in these pages insight into the various challenges
BDSM practitioners face, and the many strengths that
people in the BDSM communities have developed in the
face of social stigma and prejudice.
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