Determined to save her family from starvation in the face of marauding Gnez troops, Ludmila Derev appears on a Russian bride website. Thousands of miles to the west, the Heath twins are separated after spending thirty-three years conjoined at the abdomen and are suddenly plunged into a world churning with opportunity, self-empowerment and sex. Charting this unlikely meeting between East and West, ''Ludmila's Broken English'' is a wild, raucous and entirely original picaresque dripping with the flavours of British bacon and Russian vodka.