Lottie Biggs is recovering from her mental disorder of a reasonably significant nature with the help of her counsellor, who rather helpfully looks like Johnny Depp. Things are looking up - her hair is an excellent shade of black, she has a saturday job in a hairdresser and Gareth Stingecombe and his manly thighs are still the love of her life. When Gareth undoes his trousers to show Lottie a fetching bruise on one of the aforementioned thighs, she comes to the realization that, unlike everyone else she knows, she is a total, utter virgin. But how can she get any sort of experience when her boyfriend is doggedly, stubbornly and infuriatingly determined to preserve his energies for the rugby field?