ForeWord Review 2011 Book of the Year Award
Finalist! What Would Your Life Be Like If You Simply Let
Go of Control? At work, they oversee every detail of
every project and expect nothing less than perfection
from their coworkers. At home, they obsess over finding
the "right" person. Then, they criticize their lover or
spouse for doing everything wrong. As parents, they
practice zero tolerance for their children's preferred
study practices, choice of friends, dress choices, and
differing life views. Sound familiar? Everyone knows the
type: micromanagers, nitpickers, and domestic despots.
Yet, most people fail to recognize the signs of a
compulsion to control in themselves-or realize the toll
of their behavior on their career, their family, their
friendships, and their own happiness. In Losing Control,
Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and
How to Let It Go (Ebb and Flow Press, 2011) Daniel
Miller pinpoints the dangers of excessive control, which
goes far beyond setting limits and standards, in all
aspects of life. What's more, he shows those who feel
the pressure to control how to break free and reap
unexpected gifts. Sharing his journey of transformation,
Miller reveals what happened when he finally decided to
"surrender": his blinders fell away, new opportunities
emerged, and he experienced unprecedented, profound
inner peace. Drawing on psychological insights,
spiritual wisdom, and the real-life stories of
acknowledged "control freaks," Losing Control, Finding
Serenity guides readers through an honest inventory of
their control patterns-whether prodding, cajoling,
withdrawing, playing the martyr, or intimidating-down to
the roots. As most controllers will discover, their
compulsion to control is provoked by deep-seated fear,
anxieties, and insecurities, then aggravated by anger
and resentments. Filled with enlightening true stories,
Losing Control, Finding Serenity gives readers the
knowledge, the courage, the strategies, and the
"decontrol" tools to: *Identify and overcome the control
triggers of fear, anger, and resentment. *Avoid
avoidance, with techniques for overcoming
procrastination and reassuring exercises for resisting
the urge to withdraw from loved ones. *Become a less
domineering parent, build a family democracy, and reduce
the struggles with children. *Find and keep the right
person by accepting who he or she is rather than trying
to change their romantic partner. *Maintain realistic
expectations in sports, whether as a player or a coach,
and gain the competitive edge. *Free the flow of
creative thinking by varying the perspective, addressing
the fear of failure and success, and relaxing rather
than over-thinking everything. *Delegate to and trust
coworkers to reap increases in productivity, efficiency,
and job satisfaction-and reduce conflict and dissension.
*Learn to be patient and calmly accept "what is," even
when adversity strikes, to enjoy a more fulfilling and
serene life. * Pursue your passions and achieve greater
life balance In a chaotic, unpredictable world that's
frequently beyond anyone's control, Losing Control,
Finding Serenity offers welcome encouragement and
validation for going with the flow of life as it is: an
ongoing, every changing mystery. Find out how losing
control really means gaining control.
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