It will come as no surprise to anyone that Jeremy Clarkson loves machines. But it's not just any old bucket of blots, cogs and bearings that rings his bell. In fact, he's scoured the length and breadth of the land, plunged into the oceans and taken to the skies in search of machines with that elusive certain something.

And along the way he's discovered:

• The safest place to be in the event of nuclear war

• Who would win if Superman, James Bond and The Terminator had a fight

• The stupidest person he's ever met

• What an old Cornish institution called Arthur has to do with 0898 chat lines

• And how jean-Claude Van Damme might get eaten by a lion