In love but worlds apart is a self-help workbook for
today's adult man and woman from two different cultural
backgrounds who are considering, or who have already
begun, a marriage partnership with each other. To make
such a relationship successful, the authors maintain
that a feeling of love is not enough. They show how
various aspects of cultural differences can be
problematic and sometimes fatal to the relationship,
unless certain conditions are met. The conditions are,
among some, that the partners become reasonably more and
more mature (according to the specific definition of
maturity offered in this book), willing and able to
think and to talk about their cultural differences (such
as in manners, values, worldview, holidays and other
customs), learn to understand and respect those
differences, find solutions to their conflicts and
discover enough things they can celebrate and enjoy
together. The book helps partners think through vital
topics of differences they must face eventually, such as
their differing family backgrounds, expectations,
tastes, values, worldview, as well as their future
country or place of residence. The pervading metaphor
throughout the book is of two artists who commit to
producing a life-time project of artwork together, using
their differing skills, communication styles, colors,
craft paint, tools, and canvas. Just as these artists
bring their various backgrounds and supplies to the
task, each partner in a committed marriage relationship
contributes his or her preferences (values, worldview,
customs, etc) and ways of communicating. Questions to
think and talk about, which are cited throughout the
book, are again listed in the back of the book for
copying and giving to the partner to use. A list of
possible priorities of choice, also in the back, can be
used any of three ways: (1) to help the reader determine
whether a long-term partnership with a particular person
from another culture would really suit or not, or (2),
to test to see how well each partner knows the other,
and (3) to make an inventory of the things the partners
have in common or enjoy about each other. The book ends
with a suggested reading list. For couples who have
already begun or decided on an intercultural marriage,
reading and doing this book may lessen their shock and
frustrations and lead them into a more positive
experience. For those who are not yet sure about
committing themselves to such a relationship for life,
we hope this book provides help in making a wise
decision. |
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