Why is a left foot either trusty or educated, but a right foot is neither? Why is a bad back pass almost invariably suicidal? Why can you score from a corner with a free header, but never with a free shot? Why are hooligans always a tiny minority even when there seem to be hundreds of them throwing seats across Kenilworth Road? Discover how stock phrases - schoolboy howler, sweeper system - are only part of the story in the artfully twisted language of football. Let Leigh and Woodhouse take you on a journey, from the top-flight vocabulary of commentators to the more speculative efforts of footballers, from the Champions League circus to a Wednesday night in Rochdale. And prepare to be very entertained.