It was as if I had privately discovered life on
another planet, or a parallel universe where life was at
once recognizably similar but entirely different. I
can't tell you how exciting it was. Insofar as I had
accumulated my expectations of Australia at all in the
intervening years, I had thought of it as a kind of
alternative southern California, a place of constant
sunshine and the cheerful vapidity of a beach lifestyle,
but with a slightly British bent - a sort of Baywatch
with cricket...' Of course, what greeted Bill Bryson was
something rather different. Australia is a country that
exists on a vast scale. It is the world's sixth largest
country and its largest island. It is the only island
that is also a continent and the only continent that is
also a country. It is the driest, flattest, hottest,
most desiccated, infertile and climatically aggressive
of all the inhabited continents and still it teems with
life - a large proportion of it quite deadly. In fact,
Australia has more things that can kill you in a very
nasty way than anywhere else.This is a country where
even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with
a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but
actually sometimes go for you. If you are not stung or
pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be
fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried
helplessly out to sea by irresistable currents, or left
to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback.
Ignoring such dangers - yet curiously obsessed by them -
Bill Bryson journeyed to Australia and promptly fell in
love with the country. And who can blame him? The people
are cheerful, extrovert, quick-witted and unfailingly
obliging; their cities are safe and clean and nearly
always built on water; the food is excellent; the beer
is cold and the sun nearly always shines. Life doesn't
get much better than this. |
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