“What a great read! Such an entertaining book!
It's Erma Bombeck meets Ina Garten! Fabulicious!”
G. M. DePriest

SHAMELESS SALES PITCH:
This is guaranteed to be one of the most hilarious cookbooks you will ever read! Extraordinary, right? Ordinary cookbook sales pitches talk about delicious, simple, quick, tasty and so on endlessly. And of course all those things describe my book as well. But the extra hilarity is so unusual that you will probably never see a sales pitch like this again.

This cookbook is for real people. There are 47 simple recipes. (Had to be an odd number, so I'm counting the Pina Coladas too!) Most of the ingredients are easily found at your local store. The instructions aren’t full of strange words that you need a dictionary to understand. There aren’t long chapters on obscure procedures. (Translation: Chapters are short.) The idea is to get you started making and eating delicious pizza quickly.

There are also chapters with the low down dirt (Has this description now hit rock bottom?) on wine drinking. Our down-to-earth guidance for new wine drinkers will have you looking like a wine snob in no time. Each pizza is paired with a recommendation for a fine California wine or beer that will round out the meal perfectly. (Should it be square up the meal? Geometry was never my strong point.)

This book has the basics of what worked for us. It really is much more of a “what NOT to do” rather than a “how to” book. Remember those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Save yourself from fire department visits and patio remodeling by learning from our example. If there is a mistake to be made, our macho cooks have made it.

I’ve stolen some of the recipes from a wonderful group of people who are delusional enough to enjoy my company. I invite friends over to cook pizzas, taste each pizza and pick only the best to write recipes from. (I have discarded each and every recipe that used sauerkraut. Sauerkraut on pizza was a very bad idea.)

I hope that after trying some of these recipes you will start experimenting and making your own creations. That is the real joy of pizza cooking; trying new ingredients or combinations. Try, Taste and Enjoy!

Happy Grilling!

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:
This book features stunts performed by amateurs not under the supervision of professionals. Due to the dangers of combining open flames with alcohol, the author must insist that no one attempt to re-create or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this book. (Whew! Now I’m safe from singed nose hair lawsuits!)