Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave? Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy? Is he extremely jealous and possessive? Does he switch from charm to anger without warning? Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments? Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you? Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship? Do you find yourself ''walking on eggshells'' and apologizing all the time? If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist -- a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you. In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men ad women trapped in these relationships to help you understand you man's destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man. ''Very important and much needed...This how-to book could be a lifesaver.'' -- Abigail Van Buren, ''Dear Abby'' ''A ''must read'' for any woman who has ever been in a destructive relationship.'' -- Sonya Friedman, Ph.D., author of ''Smart Cookies Don't Crumble''